Attention bed buyers! That’s right, you over there! Now listen up, this is your Sueno Major here, and if you think I can’t see you shirking at the back of the ranks, trying to get away with that non-regulation trendy haircut, you’re sadly mistaken. Think I haven’t noticed that non-standard issue uniform that’s so SS15 you could have Kate Moss ringing you for tips?! Think I haven’t clocked that you’re not paying full attention to the sergeant major’s instructions?! Well, I’ve noticed it all, and this time my friend, you’re in trouble!

It’s clear you’ve had your head elsewhere. You’ve been occupied with hunting down the perfect bed to rest your weary body at the end of an action-packed day. You’ve been late for combat three days in a row, and we’ve checked your search history – you’ve been using the officer’s computer to choose a divan bed on Sueno! 

Hush! I don’t want to hear your snivelling excuses. Quiet! This is the last time soldier! You’ve taken things one step too far and this behaviour can no longer continue. Step into my office, close the door behind you, we need to have words!

And you can stop skulking right now. The door’s closed? Good. Right, well then, let’s get down to business.

Here’s the deal – we’ve all been there soldier. We’ve all been so tired we’ve not known which way to turn, which outfit to wear, and the problem you’re facing right now – which bed to choose. So listen here, because I’ve got the facts.

1. Sueno has two types of divan base styles – the Modena and the Madera. The Modena has polished chrome mushroom feet, the Madera has bulbed wooden feet. Simple. And remember – chrome works great in modern homes, while wood can keep things looking a little more traditional. How we like it soldier, how we like it, what!

2. Size matters – I know you’ll have found that out in the communal showers. Now, these divan beds both come in five different sizes. Plus you’ve got the option of 52 fabrics to choose from as well as four drawer options (no drawers, two drawers, four drawer continental – which gives you space for bedside tables, and four drawers).

Now soldier, once you’ve got your head around that, it’s simple. Say ‘Yes sarge!”

Good.

All you need to know now is that these frankly fantastic divan beds are one of Sueno’s best-selling products, they’ve got plenty of great customer reviews, and they offer unbeatable value. What’s more, if you need serious storage space these beds are the business, what!

Oh, and before I forget soldier! If you need a little extra TLC, you can choose a matching headboard, and when you buy it at the same time as the divan bed base and use the top secret code H20, you’ll get a rather tasty 20% off too.

All this and your bed will be delivered in 5-7 days after your order! I know, incredible! Now go! Back to your ranks! And don’t say I didn’t warn you!